Someone posted a link on Facebook recently to an article called 31 Signs You're a Third Culture Kid (and I am totally cracking myself up here, because I just accidentally typed "Kind", not "Kid", because a capitalized noun makes me think of German rather than a title...), which I then shared on my own page, maintaining that I have Acquired TCKism. I am not technically a Third Culture Kid, because I grew up monoculturally and monolingually, in the home culture of both of my parents. However, I have now lived outside of my passport country for over half of my life and have spent significant amounts of time in at least four countries, perhaps more, depending on what one counts as "significant", and I relate to the vast majority of these statements. Then my friend Sue commented that she thinks Extroverts in general would probably relate to a large number, as well. I don't know--I'm an Extrovert, and most of my friends are internationals or Introverts or both, so I don't know whom to ask!
Sue, who is neither an Extrovert nor a TCK (although as an adult she has lived and now lives outside of her passport country), then listed exactly why she does NOT relate to the majority of the items. So now I'm going to go through them, one by one, and think harder about whether I do, how so if so, and whether that would have been as likely if I'd stayed in California all my life.
1. You can curse convincingly in at least five different languages.
Well, no, I can't actually curse convincingly in any, or at least, I've never tried. I HAVE gotten angry and yelled in four different languages, and I do know curse words in five different languages, four of them through exposure to natives, French only from reading...
This one also includes a pie chart showing over three-quarters of "the first words you learned in a foreign language" being curse words, which isn't true for me in any language, followed by slices saying "let's get drunk" (okay, so I can say that in the three languages I speak, but I never have...) and "Hello, how are you?" with only a tiny slice for "I don't speak your language". My reality is that I can say "I don't speak X-language" (and/or "Do you speak English?") in English, German, Spanish, Greek, French, Japanese, and Italian. If I'd never left California, it probably would have stayed with English and possibly Spanish.
2. To everyone's confusion, your accent changes depending on who you're talking to.
My accent, not so much, although my family in the U.S. says that I don't speak like they do anymore. When Katie was born and I called my parents to tell them the baby had arrived, it was a girl, and her name was Katie, my mother was silent for a moment, then said something like, "Oh...that's, um, a nice name. What does it stand for?" When I spelled it, totally confused as to what she meant, she said, "OHHH, Kay-dee! My grandmother used to call me that!" (My mother's name is Kathryn.) The confusion came in because I had pronounced it Kay-tee, actually pronouncing the "T", which U.S.ians generally don't do. When I'm speaking with Americans, I usually pronounce it Kay-dee, when speaking with anyone else, Kay-tee. And while my British friends might not think so, U.S.ians assure me that I DO enunciate considerably more when speaking with Brits than U.S.ians, and I certainly speak even more carefully, both with accent and vocabulary, when speaking English with non-native speakers.
My vocabulary does change, usually not intentionally, depending on with whom I'm speaking, and that had caused confusion many times, because it's not always obvious whether, when I use a word that means one thing in American and another in British, which I'm speaking.
3. And you often slip foreign slang into your English by mistake, which makes you unintelligible to most people.
I'm assuming a certain amount of hyperbole here, with "unintelligible" and "most". I know I've gotten better about it since living in Cyprus, because I speak mostly English here (sadly), but over the years, I've had countless incidents of misunderstandings or simply not being understood because of unintentionally using the wrong English or a foreign word. And what they don't list here is how incredibly frustrating it is when people think that's showing off, because it is NOT. Nor do they list that one may have friends with whom one can speak a mish-mash and be totally understood, but not understood by a monolingual speaker of any language. When my friend Anita from Mexico was living in Germany, we managed to get together a few times, and spoke what we called Espeutschlish.
4. You're really good at calculating time differences, because you have to do it every time you call your parents.
Well, yes. Not much else to say there.
5. But you also have your computer programmed to help you out when your math fails. (This is accompanied by a graphic of clocks showing 12 different time zones.)
My math doesn't fail. :-) However, I DO have a map of time zones bookmarked, so that when I can't remember which time zone someone is in, I can look it up quickly.
6. You start getting birthday wishes several hours before your birthday, from your friends farther east than you.
Yep. Likewise, I find it fun to give them before someone else's birthday, because I'm the one farther east. My sister called me a cheater for doing that on Mother's Day. :-)
7. Your passport looks like it's been through hell and back. (Or more likely your passports, in the plural.)
No, not really, because I take good care of it and my current one is only four years old and we haven't traveled much since moving to Cyprus. This one only has stamps from Cyprus, Germany, U.K., Austria, Czech Republic, U.S., and Costa Rica. My last passport had a lot more, from five continents. And my children do all have two passports, one German and one U.S. But they ARE bona fide TCKs, so I shouldn't be mentioning them anyway.
8. You have a love-hate relationship with the question "Where are you from?" You have both a long and a short answer ready, and you pick one depending on who's asking.
Totally.
9. You run into your elementary school friends in unlikely countries at unlikely times.
Technically, no, definitely not elementary school friends. However, I do have several really cool stories of meeting people I've known in the past, in a totally different country, and not because they were visiting us.
10. You've spent an absurd and probably unhealthy amount of time on airplanes.
I don't think I can deny that one, even by claiming that it's certainly a whole lot less than either of my brothers, neither of whom are TCKs any more than I am and I would say have less claim to the label! (One brother is a pilot and the other travels a lot for work.)
11. And you definitely know your way around jet-lag recovery.
"Knowing" and "enjoying" are not the same thing. And having children likewise on jet-lag seriously hinders the process. But I certainly know all about it.
12. Your list of significant others' nationalities reads like a soccer World Cup bracket.
(You can tell this was put together by U.S.ians...I would have called it "football".)
Umm...how much do I want to say on this blog? I can only list three nationalities, and none of them are U.S.ian, and I married a German. Does that count? A very small tournament.
13. And your circle of best friends is as politically, racially, and religiously diverse as the United Nations.
I don't have a "circle of best friends" and don't like the term. My Facebook "friends" would fit that, though. And without thinking too hard, the five closest friends I think of ARE from five different countries...
14. Which is great, except that you "hang out" more online than in real life.
True, even excluding Facebook-only friends.
15. So when you do see your best friends, you lose it a little.
Yep. (Oh, I had the most wonderful birthday party in Germany this year, with only a very small group of people from when I lived there, but representing half a dozen or so countries!)
16. You've had the most rigorous sensitivity training of all: real life. (Always take your shoes off in a Thai household, but never show the soles of your feet to an Arab.)
I don't understand the "but" in that parenthetical sentence, because one should never show the soles of the feet to a Thai, either! At least we were told that before we went to Thailand, so we didn't have to commit a faux pas to learn it. But yes, although I can be rather oblivious to many social cues, I think I'm more aware of them than I would have been otherwise, because of my international experiences. (I'm still most lost in the United States, actually.)
17. You get nervous whenever a form needs you to enter a "permanent address".
Yes, it gets very confusing. Sometimes we need to use the address where we're registered in Germany, sometimes our street address here, sometimes the work P.O. box here, and sometimes my parents' address in the U.S. (And since they moved a year ago, it just occurred to me that maybe I should change that, but on the other hand, my sister and her husband now live in our parents' house, so I guess I can still use that one?) I don't necessarily get "nervous", except when it has to do with German authorities and schooling...
18. You know that McDonald's tastes drastically different from country to country. And you can rank them from best to worst.
I do know from experience that french fries in European McDonald's are slightly more edible than in the U.S., but I really don't like McDonald's at all and generally completely avoid it, so certainly can't "rank" them, beyond saying "McDonald's is my last choice to eat. Period." (Or "full stop", if speaking with a Brit.) The last meal I had in a McDonald's was at a friend's birthday party two or three years ago, and getting something like souvlaki was admittedly kind of cool, if not filling. And when my Costa Rican brother visited us in Germany, he wanted to know if it was true that one can get beer in McDonald's, and got some there just to prove it. (I made him drink some through a straw for a photo. :-D )
19. You're a food snob because you've sampled the best and most authentic of every possible cuisine.
I wouldn't say I'm a food snob, really...except that Italian pizza is the best and why would anyone want Pizza Hut after that; Mexican food in Mexico is NOT the same as Mexican food in the U.S. and is much, much better; in Japan I can eat sushi but not anywhere else; halloumi is the most amazing cheese; Costa Rica has the best coffee; and Germany has the best bread. Cypriot bananas are also the best, but so is any fresh, non-GMO fruit. I never cared for tomatoes much before coming to Cyprus.
20. You convert any price to two different currencies before making a significant purchase.
Well, since having the Euro (2002 in Germany), we do a whole lot less converting, but even after 11 years, we sometimes comment on what a price would have been in DM, and we often have to convert GB£ or US$ to Euros, but we don't make a whole lot of "significant purchases." Or "none", really. Whenever I buy books, I compare prices in the U.S., U.K., and Germany, so that does involve three currencies.
21. You don't call it "home", you call it "passport country."
Considering that "home" is NOT my "passport country", no, of course I don't call my passport country home.
22. You often find yourself singing along to songs in languages you don't speak or understand.
I certainly did that in South Africa, not so much here, but some. I understand some Greek, but I can sing along with a lot more of it than I understand.
23. You miss BBM, but Viper and WhatsApp will do for now.
I don't have a clue to what this refers.
24. You're the token exotic friend in your non-TCK crew.
Umm...don't have a "non-TCK" (or at least "non-international") "crew" here in Cyprus, but there was some of that going on in Germany and a lot of that going on in Mexico, when I knew I'd been invited just because of being a foreigner, not because they actually knew ME.
25. Love it or hate it, you have a strong and well-informed opinion on the I.B. system.
Since this was accompanied by a graphic saying " IB people problems #44: You panic when your backpack weighs less than 40% of your body weight because it means you've forgotten something," I thought I had no idea what it meant, since the only thing I know of I.B. standing for is International Baccalaureate. So I googled, and that's all I can find. I don't get the "IB people problem" and I'm not the slightest bit informed on the International Baccalaureate system, except that I know that it's roughly equivalent to German Abitur, British A levels, or U.S. AA/AS degree. And if the I.B. here refers to something else, then I obviously have even less of an opinion.
26. The end of the school year was always bittersweet because so many people moved away.
Not from the point of view of a student, as I wasn't an international one, but referring to my life in Germany, very much so, because OTHER people were always moving, most often in summer. And the end of our DTS (Discipleship Training School) in Montana and my husband's SOIP (School of Intercessory Prayer) in South Africa, both with YWAM (Youth With a Mission) were certainly difficult because of everybody dispersing.
27. And, no matter how many you say, good-byes never get easier.
I'm better at DOING them, so maybe that means "easier", but I don't LIKE them any more than I ever did. We all still really, really miss the VR-G family, who moved to South Africa nearly a year and a half ago.
28. But the constant flow of new friends more than made up for it.
I disagree with this one. I love having good friends, yes. However, NO friend can ever "make up for" any other friend that is no longer there. Makes it easier to deal with, yes. Makes up for it, no.
29. Now you feel incredibly lucky to have loved ones and memories scattered all over the globe.
Part of me would like to say, "No!! I want them all HERE!!" But I don't want to have missed out on any of them, and I AM very happy about the loved ones and memories that do happen to be scattered all over the globe, and it's cool that there is such a long list of countries I could visit and not have to stay in a hotel.
30. You know better than anyone else that "home" isn't a place, it's the people in it.
My friend Sue contested that this would be true of anyone, but I don't think so. At least, not from the number of times I was asked, when we lived in Germany, "Are you going home for Christmas?" No, usually, we were staying home! Visiting my parents wasn't "going home", it was visiting my parents. But hopefully, a lot of people, non-international, DO understand that it's the people, not the place, that makes the home. As well, for me, the place where I am being my home...but that does have to do with the people in it.
31. And you can't wait to see where your life adventure takes you next!
Totally true. We don't think we're in Cyprus forever, but although we do hope that it's for a long time yet, it's true that it's fascinating to think where else we might end up, and my life is definitely an adventure.
Conclusion: I forgot to continue to explicitly comment on whether staying in California my whole life would have had similar results, but I think it's pretty conclusive that it wouldn't have. Maybe an Extroverted TCK will identify with more of these than an Introverted TCK, but I still think a TCK, either E or I, will likely identify with more than a non-TCK of either persuasion.
Thursday, July 4, 2013
Wednesday, July 3, 2013
Scavenger Hunt photos, part two
My oldest daughter, Marie, participated in a youth orchestra in Limassol this year, which meant two months of rehearsals every Saturday. (As well as rehearsals last Wednesday, Thursday, AND Friday, and then two performances Friday afternoon/evening!) We were able to carpool some, but most of the participants live in or a lot closer to Limassol, so the majority of Saturdays in May and June I drove her to her rehearsal and had several hours of time to myself, which I confess that I thoroughly enjoyed.
On June 15th, however, Jörn was in England and our friend Annika was visiting from Germany. She'd visited before, three years ago, and we'd gone into the mountains and done various daytrips, and she knew that we wouldn't do much with Jörn gone, so didn't expect anything, and was willing to stay home with the other children...but it seemed to me that if we could organize it, we should try to do at least one outing. However, I couldn't find much of interest in Limassol, and we didn't have time for an all-day trip, because Marie's rehearsal started at 5:00 p.m., and because of her other activities, we couldn't even leave home until 2:30 p.m. We finally settled on going to the zoo, which had been completely renovated (not that we'd ever been there before) and re-opened a year ago. We enjoyed it very much, and I left Annika and the children there while I drove Marie the whole six minutes to where her rehearsal was, then joined the others in the municipal gardens, where there are lots of playgrounds, lots of drinking water, clean bathrooms, and most importantly of all, SHADE. (The zoo had plenty of shade, too.)
The zoo is small and they no longer have large animals, but still have some typical zoo animals, such as wallabies and emus, a pygmy hippopotamus, lemurs, some monkeys, and lots of birds. They also had some farm animals (I love goats!), a small reptile house (not my favorite), rabbits, and more. I think all of us chose the otters as our very favorite animal, but although we took lots of photos, we didn't get any very clear ones. However, we did get plenty of photos of the meerkats. We were obedient and did not attempt to touch them or feed them anything, but the way they showed no fear and came right up to the edge of the enclosure, I strongly suspect that not everyone abides by the rules. The first photo is taken looking straight down into the enclosure, which happily has glass walls, so the little ones could see in without being tempted to climb in. And the second photo is taken from the same spot, but leaning over to get a photo of Helen through the glass. So there's number 11 for the 2013 Summer Photo Scavenger Hunt: an animal in a zoo, etc.
I have two photos for number 7: a sign that is intentionally or unintentionally funny. The first one is one that I've actually been meaning to take a photo of for years, because it cracks me up every time I see it. (I'm easily amused.) It's in a national park, Rizoelia in Aridippou, about 15 minutes away. Lukas wanted to go up there for his birthday on June 21st, which was an easy enough thing to arrange, so we did. So I finally took the photo.
The second sign is likewise not meant to be funny, and it's not very, but it can be considered part of the next one anyway, if you prefer.
In the meantime, here's another photo showing the whole place and thereby fulfilling (well, with a little bit of a stretch...) number 3: City Hall, Capitol or other similar civic building.
Oh yeah, there's that. When we left Germany four and a half years ago, we wanted to see our flat, but we couldn't find a buyer who would pay anywhere near what we needed to not lose way more money than we could afford. Finally, someone wanted to rent it, for "at least five years", and paid enough to cover our mortgage and a tiny bit more. However, she gave notice for the end of July, and finding a renter from a distance is not fun. Happily, we have a very good friend, Barbara, who was here for a week in May, and decided to take over for us. She showed the flat to something like 40 parties, one of which wanted to BUY it, and liked our price!!! And so that Jörn and I don't have to fly to Germany, we're giving Barbara the right to sign all the paperwork for us, and our signatures on that letter have to be notarized. As good Germans, we called the German consulate in Nikosia and asked how much they charge: €160 per document. We do not need an apostille, confirming that the contents are correct, only a confirmation that we ourselves signed the document. So instead we went to the local Mukhtar, who charged €3 per document (we went ahead and did two, one to send and one to keep...we wouldn't have done that for €160 each!!), and with whom we had a nice chat. And the gas (petrol) to get there was probably about 20 cents, and parking was 30 cents, whereas to drive to Nikosia would have been more like €15-€20 (but parking would have been free), plus we probably would have gone to Ikea. Much better to go to the local Mukhtar. (And yes, we also could have walked there, thereby saving 50 cents, but then we would have been forced to get ice cream on the way home to survive walking at midday in Cyprus in July, and that would have cost €3.)
Which we did, and feeling horribly conspicuous like a tourist, I took a photo of the office, especially for my blog.
On the way back to the car I took yet another photo for this scavenger hunt, but this is already too long and rambly, and the rest of the family has gotten home, so the computer needs to go off and that will be for another time.
Scavenger Hunt List
1. Open air market
2. Theater for performing arts (not a movie theater)
3. City Hall, Capitol or other similar civic building
4. Airplane
5. A sunset
6. Someone or something taking a nap
7. A sign that is intentionally or unintentionally funny
8. A tower
9. A photo with someone or something that is clearly out of place or doesn't belong
10. A bench that is outside
11. An animal in a zoo, aquarium, nature preserve, etc.
12. A cloud in the shape of something (please specify what you see)
13. A fence
14. A stained glass object or a mosaic
15. A fire truck or police car
16. A windmill
17. Candle(s)
18. Your local pub/bar, coffee house or tea shop
19. A fisherman
20. A dinosaur
21. A photograph of you with an artistic tool or craft supply (you cannot substitute for this item)
Bonus/substitute items. If you find any of the above items too difficult, feel free to substitute either (or both) of these items. You can substitute up to two items, but you cannot substitute Item #21:
A person wearing an outfit (or item of clothing) that symbolizes your country
A sundial
2. Theater for performing arts (not a movie theater)
3. City Hall, Capitol or other similar civic building
4. Airplane
5. A sunset
6. Someone or something taking a nap
7. A sign that is intentionally or unintentionally funny
8. A tower
9. A photo with someone or something that is clearly out of place or doesn't belong
10. A bench that is outside
11. An animal in a zoo, aquarium, nature preserve, etc.
12. A cloud in the shape of something (please specify what you see)
13. A fence
14. A stained glass object or a mosaic
15. A fire truck or police car
16. A windmill
17. Candle(s)
18. Your local pub/bar, coffee house or tea shop
19. A fisherman
20. A dinosaur
21. A photograph of you with an artistic tool or craft supply (you cannot substitute for this item)
Bonus/substitute items. If you find any of the above items too difficult, feel free to substitute either (or both) of these items. You can substitute up to two items, but you cannot substitute Item #21:
A person wearing an outfit (or item of clothing) that symbolizes your country
A sundial
Scavenger Hunt photos, part one
Finally: the first installment of photos for the 2013 Summer Photo Scavenger Hunt! I have several collected, but because I have soooo many of "someone or something taking a nap", that's all I'm including in this one. And yes, they're mostly our four-month-old cat, Makenzy. I've seen some crazy photos of cats in weird positions, and despite having always had cats in our house when I was growing up, I still wondered if some of them were faked. I don't wonder anymore. Makenzy is WEIRD. I'm very much enjoying having a cat for the first time in 22 years.
The only photo I remember for sure taking while thinking, "Oh, this has to go on my blog!" was the one with Makenzy's head hanging out of the dollhouse. I think there was one other that I took on purpose, the others were just because I couldn't help it.
And to finish off: one sleeping baby, my friend Becky's son Thomas, in a "milk coma", as my midwife used to put it, after having just finished breastfeeding. He's a couple of weeks younger than Makenzy.
Scavenger Hunt List
The only photo I remember for sure taking while thinking, "Oh, this has to go on my blog!" was the one with Makenzy's head hanging out of the dollhouse. I think there was one other that I took on purpose, the others were just because I couldn't help it.
 |
| Our friend Dena cuddling Makenzy |
 |
| Jörn didn't want a pet, had never had one in his life (unless you count the two rabbits we had in Germany, but he was always quick to point out that a) they were not HIS, they were MINE, and b) they were outside, so were NOT the German word for "pet", which is "Haustier": house animal. They were AUSSERHAUStiere: out of the house animals. However, he and Makenzy seem to have bonded just fine. |
 |
| Seriously, she IS asleep in this photo!! (I think this may have been one I took intentionally for the blog.) |
 |
| The flash on the previous photo woke Makenzy up, so she readjusted herself. She used to sleep in a corner of one of the rooms, but now has to spread out over two or even three rooms. (I have one photo of her with bits in three different rooms, but that's from May, and I'm trying to cooperate a little bit with the "summer part" by pretending that May doesn't feel like summer yet.) |
 |
| Helen carries Makenzy around a lot, a bit more than Makenzy actually appreciates, I think. However, she does very much enjoy Helen's singing and goes to sleep in Helen's arms on a regular basis. |
And to finish off: one sleeping baby, my friend Becky's son Thomas, in a "milk coma", as my midwife used to put it, after having just finished breastfeeding. He's a couple of weeks younger than Makenzy.
Scavenger Hunt List
1. Open air market
2. Theater for performing arts (not a movie theater)
3. City Hall, Capitol or other similar civic building
4. Airplane
5. A sunset
6. Someone or something taking a nap
7. A sign that is intentionally or unintentionally funny
8. A tower
9. A photo with someone or something that is clearly out of place or doesn't belong
10. A bench that is outside
11. An animal in a zoo, aquarium, nature preserve, etc.
12. A cloud in the shape of something (please specify what you see)
13. A fence
14. A stained glass object or a mosaic
15. A fire truck or police car
16. A windmill
17. Candle(s)
18. Your local pub/bar, coffee house or tea shop
19. A fisherman
20. A dinosaur
21. A photograph of you with an artistic tool or craft supply (you cannot substitute for this item)
Bonus/substitute items. If you find any of the above items too difficult, feel free to substitute either (or both) of these items. You can substitute up to two items, but you cannot substitute Item #21:
A person wearing an outfit (or item of clothing) that symbolizes your country
A sundial
2. Theater for performing arts (not a movie theater)
3. City Hall, Capitol or other similar civic building
4. Airplane
5. A sunset
6. Someone or something taking a nap
7. A sign that is intentionally or unintentionally funny
8. A tower
9. A photo with someone or something that is clearly out of place or doesn't belong
10. A bench that is outside
11. An animal in a zoo, aquarium, nature preserve, etc.
12. A cloud in the shape of something (please specify what you see)
13. A fence
14. A stained glass object or a mosaic
15. A fire truck or police car
16. A windmill
17. Candle(s)
18. Your local pub/bar, coffee house or tea shop
19. A fisherman
20. A dinosaur
21. A photograph of you with an artistic tool or craft supply (you cannot substitute for this item)
Bonus/substitute items. If you find any of the above items too difficult, feel free to substitute either (or both) of these items. You can substitute up to two items, but you cannot substitute Item #21:
A person wearing an outfit (or item of clothing) that symbolizes your country
A sundial
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